Vat The Fook?

Tell Me It's Real

2009-08-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

The feeling that we feel. Tell me that it's real...

It Ain't Fitness

2009-08-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

But it's freaking awesome nonetheless.

How awkward would it be if a guy said that he looked at old Playgirls to see what type of weiner enlargement he wanted?

No Sh*t

2009-08-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

Once again, lifting weights rules all...

IRONY!

2009-08-12T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's the total body confidence issue, but we just want you to look your best, ok?

I Know I'm Late To The Party

2009-07-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

But for fuck sakes, how does T-Nation not realize that their new awesome product is f ull of homosexual innuendo?

Or is that the point?

REPS! Magazine

2009-07-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

Saw the summer issue at CVS today. Loved it.

Well, I loved it in the sense that it was awesome.

Well, it was awesome in the sense that it was ridiculous.

The dude on the cover was a juice monkey. He wasn't a juice monkey like Jay Cutler, but had way too big arms for his waist, and he had an absolutely ripped and photoshopped six pack.

And, if I read the magazine, I could have abs like that in just 29 days.

Fuck yes.

I only had time to read the letter from the publisher, who said that Reps was already outselling "the other fitness magazines" even though he declined to identify "the other fitness magazines" despite mentioning that fact a second time. He said that the magazine was geared to the guys with the 17 inch arms, because guys with 17 inch arms should train like the guys with 23 inch arms. Whatever the hell that means.

(And on a quick perusal of the contributors, I must admit that when I saw "Jimmy Pena, CSCS" I wondered if Jimmy Smith had gone into the witness protection program and started writing for REPS! magazine.)

I didn't want to pay the cover price and I would have rather been seen buying the Michael Jackson issue of OK! magazine, so I figured that I'd check out their website tonight.

HA!

I give the magazine three more issues, tops.

FAT PEOPLE ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET SWINE FLU!!!!

2009-07-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the jokes write themselves

This is Ridiculous I

2009-07-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

In what will be a recurring feature on this not-read blog, the first "This is Ridiculous" post goes to Joe Cannon.

No, he's not related to Nick Cannon. Who is a gigolo with lots of hos spending lots of dough.

In honor of Joe's post, here's what I've learned from Michael Jackson.

1. That little babies are not to be dangled over balconies

2. That you're not supposed to sleep with little boys, even if you have your clothes on.

3. That dying my skin black would probably be easier and less time consuming than it was to dye Michael's white.

4. That Billie Jean is not my girl either.

5. That Man in the Mirror is the most ironic song ever.

6. That cable news sucks even more than I thought it did.

7. That his death shouldn't be the topic of a post geared to fitness professionals.

When Will The Interval Train Stop For More Than A Rest Period?

2009-06-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not disregarding interval training. I think it's an integral part of a balanced training program. But, isn't this like beating Barbaro?

When I first started reading Men's Health and other publications, HIIT was the rage, as people were in love with (and apparently overestimating) EPOC and the benefits of interval training instead of boring steady-state cardio sessions.

And it's still the rage now.

Yes, intervals are great for sports like basketball. Yes, you can get a lot accomplished in 15 minutes with intervals. Yes, they're hard as fuck if you do them properly.

And yes, they require more fuel and tax your body more than lower-intensity forms of cardio do.

That last point is indirectly mentioned in Lesson 2, but let me jump to conclusions for a second.

I'm going to assume that the majority of people who would read this article and implement it's techniques are moderately out of shape and overweight. And I'm going to assume that the majority of that majority are going to be in some sort of significant caloric deficit when they start interval training (and the others are eating 4,000 calories of pepperoni and cheese a day).

Interval training requires resources to recover.

Recovery is inhibited by a caloric deficit.

Anyone else see an unaddressed problem?

Isn't There A Better Way?

2009-06-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

Jeff Withey transferred from Arizona to Kansas. He's a 7 foot center who needs to put on weight so he can hold his own in the post.

So how much does the KU athletic staff have him eating?

Well, it's less than you'd think. Withey has to eat "at least" 3500 calories a day.

That's it.

Of course, this is also with the caveat that Withey isn't supposed to do any running--something that even in the offseason seems vital to a basketball player's conditioning--so that he doesn't burn any extra calories. And the staff wants him above what they perceive his ideal weight to be when the season starts so that when he does start running, he doesn't go below the target weight.

Any of that make sense?

Wouldn't the smart approach be to up Withey's calories to 5000 or so--after all, he has to gain 35 pounds--and let him do some conditioning exercises along with weight training? It seems pointless to decondition an athlete to gain weight, only to have him lose some of it when he starts conditioning. That way, Withey, who is sitting out the upcoming season because of transfer rules, won't get his ass chewed out for wanting to collapse to his knees after the third set of wind sprints, even though he was following orders by not doing any running.

But, what do I know. Maybe there's a method to their madness. I sure hope not. With the firepower that Kansas has for foreseeable future, Missouri needs all the help they can get.

Ridiculous Picture of the Day

2009-06-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

This "featured gallery" woman--who I've never heard of before--has done her neck mobility drills...

And make sure to check Men's Fitness every Friday for their wingman tips, which are conveniently provided at the end of the week so that the wannabes don't forget what to do while choosing which Affliction shirt they'll wear that evening.

VOLUME!!!!

2009-06-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Men's Health:

Ditch the Heavier-is-Better Mindset

Want a guaranteed beach-ready body? Do more total-body work with your muscles. "Our armed forces look awesome because they're doing 150 pushups a day," Sam Iannetta, C.P.T., owner of Functional Fitness and Wellness Centers in Boulder, Colorado says. "Volume ultimately gives you better size and shape than going heavy."

Yes, boys and girls, lots of reps with the pink dumbbells will get you looking better than the dumbbells on the other side of the rack. Lots of reps. Lots of them. Preferably while standing on the BOSU ball. Gotta activate that core.

And don't worry about your diet either. Ever see a skinny powerlifter? Right, you don't, because they're all going heavy.